Did you ask him? There might be an explanation? Sometimes we just look at the last name and might not check the first name and open wrong mail then we just say “oh it wasn’t even mine!”. I’d not make conjectures. I’d just ask.

No doubt he loves you. But it’s neither here nor there. I once was in a relationship with alcoholic who likely still loves me but he still drinks and I am now living happy life without unnecessary stress. Love doesn’t conquer all. Not saying you have to leave him but it just sounds so stressful.

He cannot get your retirement funds. He could get a half of what you put in since you’ve got married. If you weren’t putting anything in now then whatever pre marital funds are yours. He can’t take something you had before you met.

I hope job comes through but keep applying and interviewing until you get formal offer.