Abusers typically don't want to end a relationship. Their victims are like a life line to them, they're unable to. If they do end it, it's usually for financial gains. I'm not suggesting this is or is not your husband. Just putting it out there so please take care of you.

I'm unclear about the level of abuse you've endured from him. I think you mentioned yelling, gaslighting, and personal theft.. and even that is heavy. The dishonesty is a big one, too. So I'm not sure what's motivating him, yet, but so far, there's a lot of red flags. You deserve to FEEL loved.. not just hear it and see it, conditionally.

Keeping the peace is a great idea. No amount of over-analyzing is going to give you that clarity. Uncertainty is part of the abuse and sadly, you'll likely forever feel uncertain about things. It definitely gives him power over you.

Big hugs to you, Hope