You tend to think in black and white terms, Divine. I do not. I have been both happy and unhappy in this marriage. It is not a black and white issue in my mind. There's lots of room for grays, but you don't think in those terms, so perhaps i's harder for you to understand.

I've never said I'm completely happy and satisfied -- there have been some serious issues to contend with.

But I am in NO position to leave him right now. We are going to see a couples therapist to see if we can work things out... or not.

I don't know if I can fully trust him again right now at this juncture. I've stated several times now that everything is uncertain for me.

I also come from the perspective that since he has been willing to make positive changes, that maybe I should give him a chance.

I agree that calling the police is not a good sign. That was MY doing. I did that because i was wasted. I am totally responsible for what went down that night. I cracked. So be it. Pick up and move on.

And the things that make OUR relationship special to ME? I've never experienced so much cuddling in my entire life, nor baby talk. This to me is a rarity. I don't think that happens in every relationship, as you claim. You make it seem like that isn't a special thing.