This is an area I have been struggling with for many years.... Dated since 1999... Married in 2011... Bought a home together in 2012... Life I thought was fine... Until I just happened to see a person who was texting him at like 2am... Never thought anything of it... I had NO REASON NOT TO TRUST HIM... time went on and I went to change my ATT plan.. and this number was again there alot.. So me being me.. I called it.... Was not prepared for what I was in for..... Since 2005 this person was involved.. I was never mentioned.. Since he worked for the railroad he was home a few days and couple hours away for a day or two.. This call was placed in 2014... Confronted him... he denied any and everything.. I was treated like **** for simply discovering HIS **** up....sad thing I suffered horrible childhood and he was the FIRST person I ever let in..... Thought I could rely on and trust... He actually made the effort to see if she was ok... not me.. I sat and all my past returned with this even piled on top... I know now I was in no way capable emotionally able to handle this.. I was lost... He was never honest about anything. he treated me like I had done something wrong and he has had 0 empathy watching me fall apart. If i ever wanted to talk about anything remotely resembling it.. he got defensive.. was "tired of hearing about it" I even tried therapy with him.. he sat there and lied... made me look and feel like an idiot. I was completely mentally breaking. he sat and watched me and just went on and ignored me....There was no effort to attempt to rebuild lost trust, he just basically said **** you emotionally. Just leaving has not been an easy option.. I have no family. and here you have to separate for a minimum period of time... He makes over $100,000 a year... and has family.. but yet I imagine it would be next to impossible for him to leave.. the only good thing is he is gone 80 percent now.. We dont even have conversations anymore.. He seems to seriosly think that I am just over reacting sometimes....he dosent get it.. how can we ever move past something when he cant even own up .. he has not worked at maaking me feel better about any way of believing I can trust him... There is no love respect support trust .. These are hard truths I have had to face.. I have been finally able to pul myself together to get online to get guidance and try to save whats left of myself.. My PTSD has returned.. all my anxiety triggers.. .. I was just too emotionally screwed to understand that he could be doing what he was doing which was not in my best interest... and he sat and watched me just fall apart.. Its been awful... I dont recognize myself in the mirror anymore....