Hi, it sounds like you are under a lot of pressure, or maybe putting a lot of pressure on yourself to succeed. Do you think the expectations you're setting are fair?
It's helped me, recently, to talk to a psychotherapist. I was having some issues with social anxiety, and also struggling to work towards my goals. I had a lot of underlying issues, and it hasn't been straightforward. My goals, and ideas about success have actually changed quite a lot. How have you been since you posted this?