In your position, I would consider how the key phrases you use here might actually be descriptions of how you feel about yourself - in other words, they sound like projections to me.

dead cold : what parts of you feel dead cold?
it probably was still shocking for her to actually see me almost disappearing into thin air : did you want to disappear into thin air?
traumatised her : her trauma or yours?
It must have been horrible for her to see me getting worse and worse : what were the horrible aspects for you as you became worse and worse?
deep sadness towards it : her sadness or yours?

These are just my crude questions, but it is worth considering your feelings rather than imagining hers. Perhaps you are expressing concern about her when the concern is yours for you. I don't mean that she doesn't feel some concern or warmth towards you, it would be strange if she didn't, but I think such emphasis avoids the value of therapy.