my mother never gave me a proper one.

santa never came and I never spent christmas with family (they didn't want me) to my house
I had a couple of my old tradditions: like watching the muppet's christmas carol christmas eve, and eating a buffet christmas eve which I still stick too

but it's also so depressing too because I spend christmas alone, and I can't help shed a tear for all the experiences I never had with my family at christmas (everytime I settle down to watch the muppet's, it really hits home most)