My partner has had a crush on a particular woman for our entire 6yr relationship. We live in the same neighbourhood and often run into each other. I'm not at all concerned they're having an affair but their flirtatious ways is getting old. It used to bother me a lot, before I understood the root of it. Now, it just makes me sad.

My partner has an intense need for attention and admiration. She's 15 years younger and cute but comes off very insecure and "giggly".. so the attention to each other serves this same shallow purpose. Seeing them together is an interesting watch, as they both love the attention they generate from each other. The only problem is, he's the family man and she's single. Plus, he's giving her the message that she's more important to him than I, even for that brief moment.

He once accused me of being "jealous" of her (and laughed), before I was able to see what she even looked like. That conversation didn't go well, and clearly, at that time, he felt I ought to be jealous of her. He's never introduced us, in all these years, and when I questioned him, he said he "didn't know what to say".

This is all old news now but the flirting still continues, despite its (somewhat) subtleness. I can see it in his eyes she excites him.. but again, his drive to fill his own bucket of self worth and attention is like a life-line for him. I've learned to not take it personal.

I used to be friendly towards her because I see the problem is within my partner, who clearly disrespects me, and neither of them have taken things "too far". But since this past summer, I noticed she's been unfriendly towards me, unless he's standing beside me. So she no longer is a "kind (but flirty)" person, in my books.

I'm not sure if they're corresponding via email. He denies it, and as a self-proclaimed "compulsive liar" I will never know the truth. I know he deletes his email history, along with his cell history, so I know he's corresponding with other women. So, there's a possibility they've been interacting online, feeding stories against me to get sympathies from her. Of course, I don't "know" this. I'm the "paranoid" one, right? Why she glares at me suddenly, or actively ignores me, when I've been friendly towards her all along.. I'll never know.

I don't doubt they'll end up together, one day, if she's still single by then. And they'll have a WONDERFUL time filling each other's buckets and enjoying their "honeymoon" phase. Unfortunately, she, too, will learn that she'll be unable to sustain his need for admiration and attention. She, too, will feel like she'll never be enough for him. Hopefully a baby won't transpire out of them, as well.. I don't even want to think about that.

I don't have a point to my post. I haven't shared in a few months and thought I'd get this off my chest.

Yes, I have an exit plan.