i know I'm new here and I'm afraid people will think I'm crazy. I just need to vent here. i hope people will offer advice or insight, but I'm up late and cant sleep because I feel my marriage is falling apart.

I posted on a different thread that I confronted my husband of 23 year, 33 together, of acting strange and feeling like something was off. This happened on Tuesday at 5. He denied it at first. I forced the issue and said he didn't look happy. He then said he wasn't. He said was unhappy and depressed. I've never heard him refer to himself as depressed! I asked what he was unhappy about. He said everything. His job, his life, me ,and the kids(2 teens). After some more talking he said it might be best to take a break for a month. I said fine but I pushed if there was someone else. Denied at first the yes I'm talking with someone. Wouldn't say at first where they met them, just that I didn't know them. Then got met on Facebook. I said you're willing to throw away our marriage on a woman you have never met in person? He said we've met. I literally ran out of the house after he said that.

I came back after 5 mins and we talked a bit more. Its a blur. After that he was packing a suitcase to go to his parents who live in walking distance. He asked who should tell the kids. I said you of course. He called them downstairs and said he needed time and space to think so he's leaving for a bit. Told him he loved them asked if they had any questions and walked out the door. Leaving me to try and help them with their feelings and well as my own. this was 7:30. It took 1.5 hours for our lives to blow up.

He said he wanted to talk every day to see how the kids were doing. I didn't rememeber that at first and became frustrated. I need space now. Its not going to be easy for the next 2 days because our youngest has activities be both go to. Also he is not aware but I did some digging and found possibly 3 candidates for the affair on his page. Or frankly all 3 were in contact with him. That is what I'm thinking happened at this point. I had one name confirm on accident. He was picking up our youngest yesterday. Since our conversation ended weirdly the night before with me saying I don't know if I can talk every day , I went out to his car to say hi and extend an olive branch. That's when I saw he was texting someone named one of the names on my list on his phone. He didn't see me coming or he just didn't care. I confronted him as peacefully as I could and he admitted she was 1 of them, I said ""what?" he said the 1. She knows he's married and doesn't care according to him.

I just cant believe this is my husband! He never had a cruel bone in his body and now this. I know he's in the middle of a midlife crisis but he doesn't seem to want to help himself. I'm now thinking that maybe this marriage can't be saved and he doesn't want to save it anyways. But why does he need a month to think? Why not just leave? But I'm starting to think I don't want him back and maybe I 'm better alone. I wrapped my whole life up in his and now he doesn't want me anymore. I'm heartbroken and confused. Angry with myself for getting my self in this position by not being more independent like I was when we met.

Any advice or insight anybody can give me would be great. This is just so new and raw. I cant sleep and I cant eat! I feel like I'm drowning!

Thanks