Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin
Could she being having a lot of self doubt.
Also, since you are training to be a counselor yourself, maybe she thinks she has to model a perfect by thr book theraputic relationship. Maybe she feels like by having looser boundaries whe is providing you a bad example of what therapy looks like.
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Oo, yes, this definitely has crossed my mind. T also knows about some of my cases, and that I'm in-demand to the level of exhaustion in my training classes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin
While not a counselor myself, I work in a hospital psychiatric program. I saw a long term therapist who worked in my community. We often discussed the state of the mental health system in our state. She self disclosed quite a bit over the years. We had some sessions that very little hard work happened because I needed a break. Usually this fallowed some intense sessions. We saw it as continuing to build our theraputic alliance.
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Thank you for sharing this.
It's nice to see how others feel this is normal, as T takes officially mandated recommendations of neutrality a bit too serious. We can see where that leads to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
I’m sorry, what??
Your T is complaining about lack of professional conduct... how “boundaries weren’t invented for nothing” or “therapy has to be done the correct way” when THEY burst into tears?! Who is breaking boundaries here? That is not being very self-aware.
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I think T was very aware of that, but just couldn't take it anymore.
I think T has run out of energy to keep this contained. T didn't look very composed at the start of the session. Maybe T is overworked or something happened outside the sessions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
Your T seems to have major counter-transference. IF they want the relationship to be more ‘professional’, they ought to do some self-reflection themselves.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags
I also believe that your T is experiencing a major case of countertransference.
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T might, but I think the real element is what scares T. I have a sense of our relationship being very real. Perhaps the process of that being scary reminds T of breaking the rules and feeling horrible because of that? That really might pass as countertransference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
I don’t think you are the one who violated boundaries. Your T was in it too, and seemingly participated in this not-so-professional dynamic. The break seems to be coming from your T overextending themselves and where the boundaries became blurred for them.
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I don't think T violated any boundaries. Certainly not mine. I just wonder whether we can continue as client-therapist at this point, or this is the end of this relationship. Our relationship is clearly taking a toll on T.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
He/she needs supervision and a good dose of self-awareness.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags
It's pretty clear that she needs to consult her own therapist, or someone, for supervision.
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Actually I know T's supervisor, and I'm not entirely sure S would be of great help. We're from a smallish city, so we have like about 5 people both of us know personally, and about 10-20 both of us know professionally. I know S professionally, and S is not very good in handling transference issues.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
What is happening between you two seems to be more friendship-based and, unless your T behaves more professionally, I don’t see how it could be a therapeutic relationship going forward.
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Yes, I can totally understand this. How ironic that T is behaving unprofessionally because T's overt zeal to be professional.