It's true that you can't know, but also true that you know your experience of a person, and your feelings about them. I know you have mixed feelings, but how would you feel if his behaviour didn't change, or got worse?

I'm sorry I can't offer more words of encouragement, but I do believe that you can't change a person, and from what you have said, I also believe that your husband is "behaving" so that he can keep you...it doesn't sound like he's taking steps to understand the damage he's done, and really make improvements without your persuasion. I know we are all human and make mistakes. You obviously take ownership for your mistakes and are trying to learn and move forward. I really hope the job works out for you!