Quote:
Originally Posted by KBMK
It's true that you can't know, but also true that you know your experience of a person, and your feelings about them. I know you have mixed feelings, but how would you feel if his behaviour didn't change, or got worse?
I'm sorry I can't offer more words of encouragement, but I do believe that you can't change a person, and from what you have said, I also believe that your husband is "behaving" so that he can keep you...it doesn't sound like he's taking steps to understand the damage he's done, and really make improvements without your persuasion. I know we are all human and make mistakes. You obviously take ownership for your mistakes and are trying to learn and move forward. I really hope the job works out for you!  |
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KBMK, thanks so much on the job front!
How would I feel? I would leave him if his behavior didn't change or got worse. I think it will be soon enough that I will know either way. If he's simply acting on his best behavior and doesn't have a sincere desire to truly change for the better, it will come out at one point or another and sooner than later, I do believe.
And yes, he may not
truly understand the damage he has caused. This is why I look to couples therapy to help me to discuss it with an objective third party who can help mediate. He needs to understand that he's broken my trust and that it's been hard for me to fully trust him since.
I do know him though. And my sense is once he hears this, he will just say to me, then why be together? If you cannot trust me, then we shouldn't be together anymore.
I am not sure if he really has it within him to
work on this together and to deal with the issues and the uncertainty for a while.