You can get over this betrayl if you step back from being blindsided and instead see where your husband is in his life and how this is mostly about him and not necessarily anything you did wrong. Your husband is not happy in his job, and he is realizing that he is now aging and this typically happens when someone is in their 50's. At this time one is realizing they are not young anymore with options, at least that's how they feel and some really feel frustrated and they think "what can I do to somehow be younger?". Even women can have their own mid life crisis too. Even women can see their partner as weighing them down and they may long for that time where they were younger and had more of a sense of freedom. Even maybe a woman is at a point where she wants something "different" but doesn't quite know what.

Your husband asked to separate so he can think, but often this is more about being able to experience a sense of freedom itself. Again, this isn't so much about their partner, but more about themselves. Also, often it's not about wanting another woman either, but instead an effort to have some free choices before the clock runs out so to speak. In some respects it's running from the fact that time flew by and now one is, almost if all of a sudden, turning senior.

There is a movie with Jack Nicolson and Diane Keaton called "Something's Gotta Give" and there are poinient things discussed in that movie about being older that is very thought provoking. In a way these two individuals had to accept certain things about themselves and where they were in life.

It can definitely come as a shock to experience this challenging period with a spouse one thought was a soul mate and someone who could be trusted. Yet, as I mentioned, it can also be a point where even you may be stepping back yourself and evaluating if YOU are happy with how YOUR life is.

A few years back I came across a story about a man who was a bus driver that drove the same route day in and day out for several years. Then one day he was driving his route and chose to change his route and he drove from the northeast all the way to Florida. He was not planning on doing something bad, not kidnapping anyone or even stealing the bus. Instead, he just decided to change that daily rut of constantly driving the same route. When he did that it shocked people, they did not know WHAT to think and they did not even know where he took that bus or even why. Actually, perhaps what he did was part of his own sort of mid life crisis and perhaps even he did not realize that either.

No one likes change forced on them. So it's very reasonable that you are feeling fearful. YET, you are also stepping back and realizing how you are not so happy yourself. You can separate from each other and step back and think about your lives. This doesn't mean you should be enemies either. And I don't think it's about another woman either, I think it has more to due with him being tired of driving that same route day in and day out, and perhaps you are discovering you also feel that way too.