Since I posted what I did above you have shared more. I don't want to seem like I am taking your situation lightly. It sounds like you are discovering things that took place sooner than you realized. He did not just interact but he spent time with a woman. Sounds like you don't know yet if he was also intimate. Unfortunately, men can be persuaded into engaging easier than most women.

The key is moving forward "smart" and not just based on emotions and that can be hard. You have much to think about. It's not just about you either, but your children as well.

You also added that he is distancing and that's a challenge in that he may spend time with someone else and think about SELF and do some selfish things. This is hard, but as I mentioned, it's important to proceed forward "smart" and not solely by emotions. From what you have shared, I think that is what you want to do.