Quote:
Originally Posted by RoxanneToto
I disagree that the OP had any hand in him straying, and I disagree that cheating is a “mistake” that needs to be forgiven. That is the OP’s choice to make, of course, but cheating is very often deliberate because “they could”, not because their spouse was failing to meet their needs. You can be the best partner on Earth and still get cheated on.
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I didn’t think anyone saying that OP contributed to her husband having affairs. If they did, I did not see it. It’s a disturbing thought. Justifying inappropriate behaviors is backwards. Women aren’t put on this Earth to only worry about meeting men’s needs or otherwise men go sleep around. There are ton of decent honorable men who don’t sleep around. This kind of thinking is degrading to men (saying they can’t make honorable decisions and there are no decent men out there), and it degrades women.
Mistake is to drop a glass and break it. Going to bed with other women while married (or other similar cheating acts) is not a mistake. It takes a deliberate effort to do so. Even texting these women is something one has to plan and execute. Not a mistake but a decision involving planning and following through
Not saying OP must leave right away without making proper financial/childcare/living arrangement plans. Or maybe she will not leave at all. But I’d be careful excusing him and vilifying her regardless if she stays or goes.
I’ve been never cheated on, but know people who had that happened to them, it took long time to rebuild their self esteem and their life after such trauma. It’s not to be taken lightly