I am all with the writing it out part! I find that I can express myself best when writing. Also, it gives them a chance to process the information before confrontation can happen!
I have done this a few times in the past as I tend to steer clear of outright telling anyone anything out of fear of their reactions. Every time ended up ok when it was all said and done. It was certainly uncomfortable talking out all the feelings, confusions and thoughts about the situations, but in the end it was all ok.
I hope you are able to tell them everything you need to.
Til then I give you

All my best to you!

BJ