It just isn't fair on you. It could be true that he loves you the only way he knows how, and he might well want to treat you better, and could even want your marriage to work for you both (I do doubt that), but he obviously has issues with control and enjoys taking advantage of your vulnerability. I think it is only right that you don't trust him, and the only think I think you should be working on is your own security... however you choose to proceed, I would proceed with caution, and think about an exit plan in case of unforseen circumstances. He might have been behaving well to keep you, and I don't want to be dramatic, but it isn't beyond reason that he could try other tactics to keep you, such as getting you under the thumb. I don't necessarily think honesty is the best policy, when there's so much uncertainty about his willingness to abuse your trust.
I know your dad was quite harsh in what he has said to you before, but it sounds like he is being more supportive now? Is there somewhere you could go if you had to get some space?