“I didn’t mean it” isn’t a valid apology. The point is you are offended, doesn’t matter what he meant. Plus if he enjoys seeing you all worked up, then yes he really did mean it, otherwise he’d not say it. No one says they like to see they’d wife upset unless they mean it at least on some perhaps subconscious level.

You keep saying how much he loves you but many of his comments to you are full of animosity and underlining anger. Love is action. A lot of his “love” are words like baby talk or saying “I love you” yet his actions: saying offensive things, arguing and liking to see you upset isn’t indication of love.

Maybe that’s what you can tell him that his affectionate words spell “ oh I love you so much”but his actions spell not just disinterest but honestly hatred. Some of the things he says or does honestly aren’t how loving men behave.