I saw the doctor today. And he was all like “everything looks good. Want more pain meds?” I think I just suck at pain management because I’m so scared of getting addicted. He wants to see me again next week. I’m getting tired of seeing them.

Today I’m worn out mentally and physically but not necessarily anxious. Although I almost had a panic attack in the waiting room thinking of some Facebook thing saying herd immunity from the virus meant 15 million people dying. I really need to quit social media altogether.

I plan on talking to my therapist about my issue with her because I just can’t take it anymore with everything else I have going on. I’m exhausted.

Tomorrow I have my first in session Pdoc appointment since February I think and I am going to look totally different. I know he’ll be super cool about it. But I’ve gone off 2 of my meds on my own and I’m not so sure he’ll be “super cool” about that.