I keep failing at taking my meds as prescribed. I'm still doing good but I could do better.

Every time I alter my meds or add new things even slightly, BOOM.. Depersonalization/derealization!!

I just need..... I need.. To be ok.. Things are not ok for me..

I'm just trying to survive. I think I will go down with this ship.

I need to be optimistic but this is the darkest time of my life. I've never been in such darkness before - I used to ignore even darker with psychoactive chemicals.

I'm not ok. I'm alone, scared and confused.