I saw my Pdoc today. First in person session in 8 months. Man did I spill my guts. About going off and then on my Wellbutrin. The melatonin. The SI. How scared shitless I am about the election. How I don’t think the US can survive another 4 years of Trump. How ****ing scared I am it’s the end of the world. The scary stuff I read about herd immunity. How messed up emotionally and physically my surgery made me. How I feel that at times my chest still looks feminine. I don’t think I’ve been that honest or talked with him like that before. I haven’t even been honest like that with my therapist lately.

So he’s taking me off my topamax and the Wellbutrin. Putting me on something that starts with an M that helps with moods and sleep. Forget the name. And extended release Xanax. I thought it went very well though.