I agree, and I think this is what you are actually trying to do. Sometimes we can get very self involved, can struggle emotionally and lose sight of the other person. For example, your husband had wondered if you had a thing for the coach a while back right? You had no interest at all, and that's your feeling. Yet for some reason your husband felt threatened. Typically the reason that happens comes from the other person's insecurities, that they are doubting their self worth in some way. So when your husband watched you go and talk to the coach for a length of time he actually worried if his old insecurity was true. In his own mind he probably felt "see I knew I was somehow not good enough for her". Maybe in your husband's eyes this coach is younger, more fit, more carasmatic than him, and your son likes the coach and responds well with the coach and he sees you pleased with that. It's possible that your husband feels jealous. That perhaps it makes him "feel" inadequate seeing someone he thinks is getting respected more than him. And it's very possible that deep down he does love you, but feels inadequate in some way.

Your thread title says "no remorse from husband", and often in this kind of situation that is more about the other person actually thinking "see, she doesn't really care or really love me". There is an alone feeling that stems out of that, just as you yourself felt alone and ended up sharing here at PC. Now think about how it made you feel when you got all the responses you got, how others replied in ways that helped you not feel so alone with your challenged feelings. You shared more, even made friends too. Well, that is what happened with your husband too. He was struggling with his sense of value, his self worth, and he came across someone that somehow filled a need in him. Just as you are comforted by what you experience here, so was he by some person, a woman, online.

Sometimes Julie, it's not a partner that is being run away from, instead, it's the unhappiness that someone else is feeling inside about themselves. You don't want to talk to or see him because of how his behaviors have made you feel. Often that is a core challenge in someone who is going through the day to day grind but just isn't happy or isn't feeling appreciated. Honestly, that's what made me think about that true story about that bus driver tbh. It's also what made me think of a scene in Moon Struck where Olivia Dukakis happens to see that man get wine thrown in his face and gets walked out on. She/the viewer learned something in that scene about this man's unhappiness, unhappiness with himself. Then someone notices him and for a little while he feels good or worthy again but "it doesn't last".

Well, your husband should have gone to see a therapist, but, he ended up spending time with some woman that is compassionate and sits and listens to him instead. It's the attention he is drawn to, not her. In your thread here you have more than one showing interest in your challenge right? And maybe there is one that seems to get to how you feel more than others. Is that not dissimilar to your husband and him interacting with more than one woman on social media? Most if not all the replies you are getting are from women in your thread right? That is probably what your husband experienced as well.

SweetPotatoe is right in saying that most will advise to divorce and cut yourself free. But that is not always what is really needed when it comes to relationship challenges. And I think the coach you talked to mentioned how he had problems, but they were resolved.

I don't think it's a bad thing that you and your husband typically went to games together either. The problem that stands out to me when it comes to that is how your husband developed a jealousy of the coach. That's an inadequacy issue your husband is challenged with in himself. And that's part of why I did not really want to feed the betrayl you are feeling and instead while I agree your husband definitely made bad choices, I think that you want to step back and think about the overall picture. And while I do not want you to slip into self blaming, it's important to step back and evaluate how you may have unknowingly contributed to his feelings of inadequacy. And why is your son angry and blaming his father? What has been lacking in his relationship with his father? Perhaps his father doesn't know how to be present for him the way he needs him to be. A father can go to games and practices but not be present. This can happen when the parent is nursing their own unhappiness and disenchantment with self and end up being present but not present.

Years ago I read something very interesting about Stephen Speilburg. His parents ended up getting a divorce and for most his life he blamed that on his father. Actually, many of his movies are about children that have single mothers and the mothers are typically a bit niave and funloving. Well, it was not until later in Speilburg's life that he found out the divorce happened not because of his father, but it was his mother that cheated. His father in fact worked very hard to support his family and he did not cheat and he actually did love his family. Stephen Speilburg shared that he was fortunate that his father was still living so he could go to him and apologize for not seeing the truth and distancing. Stephen realized that his father must have been hurt by his mother's infedelities. We enjoy these movies Stephen created not realizing why there was a lack of "presence" of a father in them. And Stephen carried a resentment for his father for many years, until he learned the truth.

You mentioned your husband is a good father? Well, why doesn't your son feel that way about him, what is missing? How can your husband learn to be more "present" for his son, something is missing and your husband feels that but doesn't know how to change it. A parent can let a child down in ways the parent doesn't even realize. A child can feel let down not even realizing why too as was the case with Stephen who created that same theme in many of his movies of the "abscent father".