From what you say, these groups seem to lack insight and I agree it might be a good idea to step away for a while, if you feel they’re not serving you well.
As for ending up with more than one abusive partner, I wouldn’t say it’s codependency in your case - to me, that’s more a trait, or set of traits that can keep you stuck with someone even if you know they’re not good for you (as you say, it’s that desire to fix the other person). It doesn’t necessarily mean every person you attract will be an abuser.
divine1966’s advice is good - abusers tend not to like the boundaries that come from upholding high standards. Don’t let anyone shame you for having them, either. It’s their problem if they don’t like them!