Progress!!!!

There has been an issue in our marriage for quite a few years between husband and I. Our oldest came out as tranmasc a few years ago. It didnt go very well at first to be honest. I have done my research and support my child 100%. He isn't completely out to the family yet by his choice so we haven't told any friends yet.

Husband did not take it well at all and kept calling him by his deadname and using wrong nouns. Then got him to call him by childhood nickname, but still used wrong pronouns. He refused to to talk about this at all, and he would become annoyed when I would use name and pronouns.

In our second heart to heart after separation, he brought up to me that he felt like I was pushing our child to be trans because I was doing all this research and work. I was taken aback. That's the first time i ever heard that. He said if oldest wanted it, he should work for it. I told him that I did research and thought I knew more than kid. Boy was I wrong!!! Told husband "He knows more than you can imagine but..." and he cut me off and said"she didn't feel comfortable enough to come to us" I was shocked!!! He got it

So today oldest got news they were accepted to college! SO excited! Asked if Dad knew he said yes. So after some reluctance I texted him to share the news. He very happy, and then I noticed something in the text.... He was using the correct pronouns!!!! I couldn't believe it! I felt this warranted at phone call. I call and said I noticed his pronoun use and it made me very happy.. He said its hard but he's trying. He seemed very pleased I noticed and went out of my way to tell him. I told him thank you, that by him using the pronouns made me feel heard by him, something I haven't felt in a long time. ANd I told him that in those words. Pleasant interaction. Cant believe hes finally come around a bit. I just don't want my child and their relationship destroyed.

Its turned into a not so bad day!