the most stable relationship i have witnesed in my family is going to be my grandparents on my dads side- they have been together for over 50 years now

got to let the polar bear infront of you fall in the ice for you sometimes

personally im 19 and have never been in a relationship

theres been 3 times in the past that I have tryed to start one but im still underdeveluped in that subject

the reason is probly from having a tramatic event of loosing my 2 best friends at the end of 1st grade at the same time(leaving the school) and for 7 years i isolated myself and over half my memories are "blacked out" one of Frued's theoryies on loosing memory relates wtih my story

I took group theropy around 5 years ago but I moved to a diferent state alltogether- that can be very stressful- but I spent 10 years at the same campus(a private school system prek-12 i went to 8th grade)

I got to start my life over but im still on a long road to recovery

I want to live a life with a family of my own-but in my current status that will be very hard to do
-I know im only 19 and ive got college and my life ahead of me-but im still learning to crawl

all of you that are married and feel that sense of loneliness before you spouse comes home that urge to be held
-well as of now thats all i feel

I know I have a family that cares for me but Im alone in a crowded place

my parents always said i was a "thinker" and I am but when it comes to trying to start a relationship thats all I ever do is think of what I could of done

-some of you can probly remember a time when you played out a entire conversation in your head for what you and the other person is saying-well thats all I ever do most the time

thats pretty much my inner turmoil with relationships-and i have my parents relationship on top of that and my sister recently breaking up with her BF of like 4 years and graduation coming up-its like ugh