First of all let me say this...It always takes two to tango, I've dated a few women who were into the sort of behavior you derscribed, and actually, I believe that they want you to hit them...or at least be verbally abusive...why? because of their own incredibly low self esteem, they become uncomfortable when men treat them well because they have'nt had that sort of relationship "modeled" by their parents and are basicly "emotional cripples" in my opinion. I really don't feel as though assessing blame here is whats important, I'm simplty saying that to a large extent we're all a product of our environments, and our role models. She needs a lot of help, but will she accept it? are you the one to give it to her? what is your role in all of this? just how deep are your feelings for this girl? I'd weigh all of these things pretty carefully, and then I'd stay or go.