You were just trying to be a good mother, being protective and trying to respect your children's feelings and needs and advocate for them. I commend you for making it a point to learn about this challenge and genuinely wanting your child to navigate this challenge with your support. Your husband struggled to accept this and as the mother you wanted to protect your child and advocated even though you faced your husband's struggle with accepting this particular challenge.

A challenge like this can definitely affect one's marriage and you were pulled in two different directions. Our children are not there to live life according to our needs and wants. They need to have permission to live their own lives. Though they are our children we do not "own" them, they are their own beings and it's our job as a parent to help them learn to navigate the way THEY want with who they are.

What your husband is missing about this challenge is as he is trying to deny the reality of this, so was his child who more than likely wanted to be what is considered more "normal". My daughter has dyslexia, I had to learn about it, had help from Yale to let me know how to help her learn and what her challenged areas were. When she learned she was different, she had been treated badly by her piers and she struggled wishing she did not have this challenge. It's simply how her brain is wired and even though she struggled with some things, she happened to excel in other things. I did not have a problem with my husband accepting her dyslexia in that he has it too. The problem was more in him having patience with her. My husband is extroverted and very active as he also has ADHD, something I had to learn about too. I am a much deeper thinker then he is and he gets very impatient.

We are learning more and more about how individuals simply have brains that are wired differently. Some have bipolar, some dyslexia or adhd or with aspergers or autism for example, and yes some gay or trans. If we sit in a crowded place and just look around us, people come in all shapes and sizes. Some inherit little noses, some bigger noses, some have red hair, some black, some light skinned, some darker skinned, different blood types the list is endless. When we have a child we produce something that develops from quite a range of genetics. As a parent one has to accept whatever they produce and help that life you create to have a quality life in whatever way their genetics allow.