Dear Mtn Time2896,

I wish I had some helpful wisdom to share, but sadly I don't. What keeps me going is trying to do a little good every day. Maybe I can say a kind word to someone or give a little bread to the hungry birds. This seems to keep me going. But since I am not a physician or medical professional, I cannot offer any advice that you or anyone else could or should rely upon. I do hope you find something that helps give you a sense of direction, purpose and meaning. I have felt what you have felt many times in my life. And it is an awful feeling. I think you are very heroic to be carrying the heavy weight you carry.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen