I was always an outcast. But I never really stood out either. I wasn't a conformist and wasn't accepted by other kids, but adults couldn't identify what was different about me. I wasn't the teacher's pet type either. I was just quiet and withdrawn.

I never thought I would live past 30, maybe 33 at the most. I didn't know how to deal with it when I did. I wanted something to be wrong with me so that someone would care. I shouldn't list the things that I wished for because it would be insensitive to people who do have them, but I wanted to have various debilitating and fatal conditions, and fantasized about people being concerned about me and taking care of me, etc.