Open Eyes

Are you a therapist? Haha! I just cant get over how much thought and insight you have into all my issues right now! I totally agree that husband would benefit greatly from so therapy. I hope he does it. Its one of the things I plan to bring up in The Talk. I feel couples therapy is the only way we will be able to even try to stay together. My biggest problem is me right now. I overthink and overanalyze even one of our interactions. I'm also the type of person who needs answers right away. This waiting is killing me, but I'm also aware that things could be much worse between us. He's talking to me opening about money now which I appreciate. He has brought up a couple of issues we need to work on together in our finances which is great, but then I think of him texting that woman and my heart breaks again. It changes moment to moment but if i'm honest I think I would like to work things out. My problem is not knowing how he feels. I'm scared of being crushed if he comes to the table and isn't willing to work on us. Its just so hard the not knowing, but I'm trying to give him his space. I hope when this is all over we can be closer and more of a couple rather than just parents.

I have tried to put myself in his shoes with his responsibilities, and it is very hard. I just wish he would have talked to me about it all rather than keeping it all to himself. But if I'm honest... I might not have been the best person to talk to about it because i get soooo stressed out of that stuff. I still hurts that he felt the need to go outside our marriage. I did tell him I was starting therapy. He just said Oh. He might be watching what he says so to not set me off. I also want him to know my starting therapy isn't all about him. I need it for myself and felt that for some time. This has just been the catalyst to kick me into gear to go for it. Does that make sense?