You have to stop giving up your sanity and life for this individual. Life is simply much too short for that. You are way too codependent and you need to learn what codependency is. You are literally being emotionally sucked dry by this emotional vampire.

Please find a therapist that can help you see what you are giving up where you can break free of this emotional vampire. He needs to be responsible for what his family feels not you. He is just awful.