All my life I have given power to others to take control of my life. I remember just accepting what I was told, never questioning. All that has done is left me powerless and vulnerable to harm and I have become submissive. Today, I had a discussion and noticed that I gave power over my actions to others, because I failed to take full care and responsibility for each action.

In multiple times in my life I have given power to a "voice" or "vision", and that influenced the medical community to take over, putting me in the hospital and putting me on antipsychotic medications.

This week I have tried to get off meds, and my psych nurse practitioner said no, and I am getting a second opinion. I have been on up to 18 different meds, and many combinations, and 8 or so therapists. I've been through 15 years of S***. (By the way, my current t wants me to swear but I grew up thinking that it was wrong, but it does get the anger out, although there are better ways, I think).
My relationships are non-existent! I have no friends that I hang out with, I only have my parents. And I feel like I owe them my time for rent. I need to discuss that with them. Even if it's $50 a month, it still helps me feel like it may become my own place. I don't make a lot, I'm in grad school (although I don't know if I still will be after this term ends in two weeks). I feel like many people, even if those people are limited, doubt every choice I make. And I doubt my choices, which makes it easier for them to doubt.

I have more control and power than I know. I need to get to sleep, I'm 8 minutes behind what I was hoping for, and what's best for me. I may have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD, and anxiety, bit it sure does NOT have to define every action I take. It's up to me, and NO one else. I'm the one who can be a role model and help others to see their enormous power!!