I know what you feel. this feeling is so bad. your world is collapsing. I will never forget this feeling. that bad feeling comes back a bit when I read your story. I sympathize with you. This is especially bad for partners who are committed to their marriage. These partners don't deserve it. You don't deserve this.
But I know a good book for you that might help you
Title is: Affair Recovery: Scientifically Proven Methods to Help You Heal and Forgive After Infidelity.

And I wish you the best of luck
You deserve better.