Thank you koru_kiwi so much for sharing your fascinating journey with MDMA, it is incredible even to read! I never heard of the Trip of Compassion documentary before but watched it last night and completely shared Tim Ferris' enthusiasm afterward. Thanks so much for suggesting it, I've already also recommended it to some others. It changed my subjective perception about psychedelic psychotherapy sessions as well quite a bit - the way it's done in the film does not look aversive to me at all, it rather induced a desire to try this myself someday. My Ayahuasca experience was kinda similar in the sense that there was a group of people and the providers and I never met them until a couple days before the first trip. I personally loved sharing parts of my experiences with the group and with some specific individuals afterward. I saw quite some variety in how the different group members wanted to experience their trips in the social context, which was interesting. But I also know more about doing it with an intimate partner as that's how most of my mushroom trips happened in my late 20s.

I would be curious about how you coordinate your own MDMA experiences. For example, how do you time them, do you plan long ahead and prepare for them somehow? How about frequency and dosage, how do you decide on these? Do you vary what exactly you do during? Do you discuss it with your husband in depth afterward? Only if you would like to share more, of course

Here is MAPS director Rick Doblin's TED talk for those who would like a quick overview from the head of the organization that manages and promotes most of the psychedelic studies and mental health applications in the US these days:
Rick Doblin: The future of psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy | TED Talk

Here today - I have some colleagues who work on those questions about the DMN and social environment now. They try to model some things in a research study, but also collect many different details about their study subjects' life and history. The experimental part is a mix of brain imaging, surveys, and computer games that mimic certain situations.

Rick Doblin does seem to equate the sense of self with the ego in the above talk, but I would also argue it's much more complicated and multi-faceted.

Here are some relatively recent articles about the DMN and social functions, including some related to early life. Most are quite technical articles but it's probably not that hard to get some of the conclusions. They also show examples for how scientists study these things.

Neuroscience: The Default Mode Network - Brighton Talk Therapy

Default Mode Network Connectivity and Social Dysfunction in Major Depressive Disorder | Scientific Reports

influence of relationship closeness on default-mode network connectivity during social interactions | Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience | Oxford Academic

SAGE Journals: Your gateway to world-class journal research

https://www.sciencedirect.com/scienc...78929317302153

I don't think anyone knows that type and level of social dysfunction, trauma, when in development etc can be effectively helped with psychedelics. What kinds of DMN, self and social issues can be helped with these medicines and what may be resistant to treatment. I think the accounts that well-known, persistent developmental disorders can be helped in this way for some people is very encouraging, IMO. It's always so fascinating to me to hear when someone with dissociation and a long-standing fragmented sense of self reports these things improving and how they start to experience a more cohesive identity and self - fascinating, because I don't personally understand dissociation from the inside, I can't even imagine well when people talk about working with parts... what it might be like to experience oneself that way. I couldn't even apply one of the widely-used mental methods to addiction recovery, which involves consciously splitting our sense of self and desires in two and accepting one while rejecting the other, the max I could kinda try is realizing the addictive urges were specific moments and elements of the same person. That method didn't work for me to develop better inhibitions, or any inhibition at all, I just could't compartmentalize and isolate "parts" of me in that way. I think one serious limitation why psychotherapy is often not very effective for those things is also that the Ts do not really comprehend it... probably a bit like psychedelic states in a sense that you can't truly imagine before having a fist-hand experience. You can study and analyze intellectually, but it's not the same.

People are really just starting to study these things about the DMN and psychedelics in depth, but a lot is coming out and and will in the next years, I think. If you want to give it a try, I would also think why not - you have already tried many other things. What you said earlier about starting with a lower dose is probably a good idea. That's how I also started my explorations and gradually increased the dosage when I felt I wanted more. I found that I was very sensitive to the effects of these drugs from start, doses that apparently did nothing or very little to other people (even considering body size) gave me pretty interesting and engaging experiences.