I hear you. Five years is a long time to be stable! I'm going through a stable period now myself and I don't want my life to fall apart if I become manic again. I don't want to rack up my new credit card or go highly manic and say crazy stuff - about how god is telling me things, etc. But it's been a year and a half since that happened so I hope it won't happen again any time soon. People seem to understand regular depression, but not bipolar depression and definitely not mania. No wonder we're stigmatized.