My Support Forums - View Single Post

RavenGirl1990 · 06:20 PM

Hello,

I am not sure how to begin this. I recently moved from my hometown and took a new job elsewhere. Well, I have a past diagnosis of major depression, anxiety, and dissociative disorder.

And I have been thinking of getting back into therapy. But I am wary about it, I have a hard time trusting people, I didn’t trust my last therapist much.
Anyway

Possible trigger:

I have had these moments where, I like literally want someone to beat me up, like I would’ve paid someone even, it had been so serious.
I have had a history of self-harm and suicide ideation.

Well, that went away, but I have other things going on I can’t really explain to people. Like I have these moments where, I can’t remember anything of my past, and I go blank. And like, how did I get here moments I get at times, like I don’t know how I got here or where am I.
I have trouble knowing the difference between feelings and thoughts.
I have had this happen a few weeks ago. I was in the kitchen cooking and

Possible trigger:

I felt like someone was watching me, I live alone. And I felt like I was watching myself outside of my self almost. And this voice or thought I am not sure said inside of my head, “You know, you could go and end your life in the shed, and no one would ever know.”
Another voice in my head responded like literally laughing, “Oh, God, I know right!”

And that literally freaked me out and I didn’t know what to think. And I really know feel like myself like, I go from crying to no reason, to angry, and then laughing in an hour. It is not everyday though. Anyone insight or recommendations would be appreciated. I am wanting to get back into therapy just working up the courage to do it.