Things are still on his terms even though he is the one who cheated and now left you. He is still the one to decide if he wants out. Why is he the one to decide? Take your power back. It’s not his decision to stay or go. It’s your decision to not stay married to a man who had sexual affair for almost a year (that’s the one you know about, who knows how many were there). It’s not his decision to come or go. Kick him out of drivers seat and take your self esteem and power back.

Divorce isn’t good for the kids but parents living in dysfunction is way worse for the kids. They likely to find and stay with bad partners as well because that’s what they witness and it’s their normalcy.

I forgot if you already see a therapist. BuT please do. And see a lawyer ASAP