So sorry to hear of your situation. Just wanted to let you know that have been through something similar. The trouble with psych meds is that once you're put on them, you cant just suddenly stop them without being likely to have a bad reaction or relapse. When I realised this I felt incredibly angry and depressed that I'd been made to take them.

There is a site that offers online support to those seeking to lower their dose or withdraw. But of course noone can advise you to do that because a doctor has recommended and prescribed the drug.

My own experience was that pdocs seem to know how to get you on prescriptions but not much about withdrawing safely which has to be done incredibly slowly. If it would help for me to share a bit about how I got on a lower dose happy to do it via pm.

You may also find talking this through with a mental health advocate really helpful.