Quote:
Originally Posted by TunedOut
It is good you made some progress, making some amends is likely healing for you.
Though I do not know what is going on in your sister's head (pride?), years and years ago, when I was unable to attend my brother's wedding (it was overseas), he didn't talk to me for 10 years! We do talk on a more regular basis now but I tend to not call/reach out to people when I am feeling depressed (don't know if she has depression issues?) IMO, when people do not reach out to us, either, we have grown apart (though family should make some effort, this applies to friendships) or they are dealing with their own issues that may have nothing to do with you. Do you think your sister is as emotionally aware as you are?
Also, perhaps my brother felt I owed him more of an apology for not going to that wedding (I probably should have been more sensitive--I can think of a few times I have accidently been insensitive to my friends when I was younger/had more friends) but after years went by with him refusing to talk to me, though his feelings were probably hurt, my whole family thought he should have been willing to talk to me despite what happened....
|
She has said, in the past, she is bullish. Yes, it’s toxic pride. I didn’t call her again, either. That felt too much like I was denigrating myself. She may feel that way too. Though, she outright said she doesn’t care about me at all...only her. I did try a few times to get together with her, to which she blew me off. So, it’s more on her.
I’ve thought a lot about it and my family was way more dysfunctional than I even originally thought. There’s a pattern of blow out, silent treatment, vilifying, then acting like nothing happened that our mom perpetrated. This is essentially what happened, I didn’t want to take it and asked this sister for help. She turned on me, and we never spoke again.
There will be occasions where the family gets together. In fact there has been some zoom calls these past months. She and I are not hostile, but not friendly directly to each other, didn’t look each other in the eye and say hello directly. But, most of the family didn’t do that either!
My son just did a whole funny thing about how he told his friends about his being on those family calls, and how there are generations of drama, lol.