Hi Fuzzybear, thank you. That was very kind of you to write after I put what I'd done.

To explain a bit more...faith has proved to be really important to me but when I've been very stressed my recall of the highlights and positives has been very poor and I was struggling. I hadnt seen or heard from anyone for a while. Combine all that with trauma etc and as you can see somehow i ended up posting the op. making assumptions about why I hadnt heard from people without speaking to them about it directly etc

I really need to learn from this....having others to bounce things off to get a healthier perspective seems essential at times.

Thank you to all for being here and sorry again for the meltdown. I think there were some valid points made. I do need to be clearer with myself about my beliefs rather than running when theres a problem.