When someone struggles with ptsd it means they experienced something that deeply traumatized them, could even be through experiencing several things that traumatized the person. Often the case is the individual did not expect to experience these things, nor did they have any life skills to know how to react to whatever it was.

What can happen without the person realizing it is they literally function in a hypervigiliant state always on guard, looking over their shoulder, anticipating the next thing they have to live through not knowing what to do and it's typically due to lack of life experience.

From what you have shared Mtn Time is that you faced challenges from an early age. So, you feel stuck because you are recognizing as you mentioned that others made decisions for you. This means you feel you have little experience making your own decisions which is what most do and they don't always make the right decisions, we all learn by whatever results from our choices. As we go through life, we gradually get better at making decisions. No one JUST has all the answers. We all learn by "doing" and slowly developing skills.

You have been stuck in a loop where you tend to relive experiences in your past where you faced challenges you did not quite know how to navigate. When we don't know how to navigate challenges, we become fearful and we struggle with our sense of self esteem and personal ability. The ONLY way to break free from that is to begin making choices, even if they are small choices until we can gain our sense of ability to navigate more and more. That means for a while we can be uncomfortable, worry more than we should, even feel tired when we do make the effort. Fear is something that is tiring both physically and mentally. The only way to build one's skills is in fact gradually. Also, the one thing that is extremely important is to develop patience with self as we take even baby steps to regain or develop our ability to navigate.