You are in my prayers Buffy (I recall, you once posted--2016 or 2017 that you would pray for me and at that time I was feeling so down that what you said was truly appreciated ) I will not post the Youtube video here because it is religious but I find the video in posting #7 (This is a link to a thread in that forum: God Blesses the Broken-hearted), helpful in regards to having had problem with suicidal thoughts. Though you are dealing with self harm, rather than suicidal thoughts, perhaps feeling this comes from similar places. Many hugs to you and good for you resisting these thoughts. I hope you can find a way to dwell on other, positive thoughts.