My anniversary is coming up, I left my abusive ex on the 2nd of November, I was raped by him...... this is something I never open up about to my friends, I feel ashamed by it. I have so much sleep issues and sleep paralysis and I feel abandoned because not many people speak to me anymore. One day I was going out to dinner with my father, brother, and niece... my father was backing up in the parking lot, the sun was very bright and my father couldn't sleep clearly. Thankfully he didn't hit the guy, but I shouted to him to stop backing up. He apologized to the guy so much and the guy was flipping out and my father was being reasonable, apologizing, feeling horrible. I can understand the guy's position, but the way he was yelling and cussing at my father triggered me so much.

Shortly after this happened, I was frozen and couldn't speak. I dissociated because my ex would yell at me a lot of the time, the same way too and I instantly felt sadness and could feel the tears coming. I felt like I was re-living it all over again, getting yelled at and abused. On the way home, I kept crying and once we got home, I sobbed even more. It triggered me so much. Since then my days have been off to me and I'm feeling depressed and feeling low again. Every time I am triggered, I feel like this all the time, I feel like I won't ever get better. Hope someone can understand how I feel about this because I alone with this. It's been depressing me more and more as time goes on.