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Originally Posted by Have Hope
I am also going crazy over how my husband carries a completely false facade in front of ALL his friends, who all think he's just "so awesome" and "such a great guy". It irks me to no end that abusers can hold high esteem in the community and with their own group of friends, yet abuse horrifically behind closed doors where no one witnesses it except for the victim.
It makes me ILL that my husband's friends all think he's the most incredible person. Absolutely ILL. They just love and adore him. He has managed to wrap them all around his finger with deceit and manipulation. If they only knew the truth!!!!!!
And that's one of the most painful parts of abuse: is that it is hidden, it is unknown, and the victim is all alone in their experience.
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I don't know if it'll help, but when I left my ex I made minimal communications with his family, and friends that were not my friends before the relationship. It was my choice not to share what had happened, and one I questioned a lot. I am in touch with someone now, who became a very close mutual friend, who my ex rejected some time after our relationship ended. This friend always encouraged a healthy relationship and I know he questioned my ex for the reasons for the breakup. We still haven't got into talking about the details of my ex's behaviour, but he is very angry about the way he was treated and knows that I was very angry about the way I was treated too. I would just suggest to take your own time, do what feels right to you, and don't assume that he has anyone totally convinced of anything. It's quite likely that a lot of people suspect he isn't treating you well, but they wouldn't necessarily have the courage to confront their suspicions. Confronting the facts in the way you're doing, takes a lot of courage and determination
