I know way too well how you feel, especially the part about having to take what you can get when you don't have the "right" kind of insurance. And REALLY especially the part about hating being tied down to meds and their side effects. Environmental aspects aside, I would like to just toss mine in the river and be done with them forever.

If I were there, I'd bring a stack of movies, my jammies, a couple gallons of ice cream and two spoons and we could shut out life for awhile. I have not had even the slightest desire to get out of bed or leave the house lately myself, but I keep plugging away -- I'm not really sure why. Maybe we both just need a little hibernation time.