Unless you are being abused, Divorce isn't a solution to unhappiness. I often wonder if people fully appreciate how much damage Divorce does to many people's lives.

My now ex-husband approached Divorce as the "final solution" to his unhappiness after unsuccessfully exploring infidelity. While I have grown to realize that Divorce was the only solution for us, I wasn't the one who initiated this process. I was loyal to my husband, but he wasn't loyal to me because he was "unhappy". His selfishness has created a universe of complications and unhappiness for many people, the most important person being his son.

Unhappiness is a personal issue. Affecting other people's lives in a very negative way will not resolve your personal issues. It will absolutely create more unhappiness for you, and a lot of other people too. Divorce is a betrayal that affects people in irreparable ways, and leaves lifelong scars. Betrayal of this scale causes people to distrust not only you, but relationships with others as a whole. You will never be the same, and neither will any of the people directly impacted by the split.

Children are especially damaged by not having love, honesty, trust, and respect modelled for them in a healthy way by the two most important people in their live (their parents). Instead of modelling mutual trust, honesty, respect, and love, Divorce teaches them that relationships can't be trusted, and people are disposable. Research has shown that we repeat scenarios that were normalized for us in childhood.

Do not delude yourself, betraying promises that you made to another individual isn't something you can ever take back. Betrayal damages whatever relationship you still have with your spouse, and that damage may be irreparable after you separate. Successful coparenting requires just as much trust in separation and divorce as it did in marriage, but trust is destroyed when you renounce your obligations and responsibilities you once signed up for willingly.

Ultimately, after separation and Divorce, only one person is left with the lion's share of obligations and responsibilities that were supposed to be shared. It generally wasn't that person's choice to end up that way, and this creates natural resentment toward the person who isn't fulfilling their obligations or responsibilities.

Divorce complicates lives, it doesn't simplify them. Sometimes it is a necessary solution (e.g., escaping domestic violence, infidelity, and abuse), but if you are looking at Divorce as a solution to unhappiness, you are far better off finding an excellent therapist to explore your issues with and find a more effective solution.

I am going to assume you married this person because once you found happiness with them. Yes, life gets hard when obligations and responsibilities keep piling up, especially after having children. For most people, unhappiness is the result of not having enough time to spend on effective self-care, a solution that can be found by exploring options and compromises with your partner.

Unless there is abuse, there is no reason to believe you won't experience happiness in your marriage again. Find a good therapist, and explore opportunities with your spouse to make sure you are both engaging in self-care so that you can reveal the source of your unhappiness. Once you find ways to effectively deal with the cause of your unhappiness, you will be relieved that you didn't add more problems that will certainly add to your unhappiness.

Good luck.