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I see that he has a disorder and that he is mentally and emotionally incapable of being in a healthy relationship
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This is very important to understand. It never was a personal thing against you. He's limited in to what he can do to show his love to anyone. Keep that in mind during your own healing. You fell for it because he showed kindness and you were at a place in your life where you wanted to settle down. These behaviours are not easy to spot until a pattern has been developed which takes time. . so cut yourself some slack.