That's a great point that you have done NOTHING to deserve this. It's impossible to understand the kind of mindset he has until you have gone through such things as you've gone through. I think it's important to realise, also that you are VERY different people and when you get through this you will have learned SO much about your own power and courage in the face of adversity. I was lucky in my divorce that we didn't have much shared assets, but I did have some inheritance. There was no cooperation whatever on his part. I think your wish to separate amicably is noble, but no necessarily realistic. If your husband is aware that you are leaving him (taking all the comfort you offer as a wife away) then I think it's likely he'll do his best to coerce whatever he can, financially, emotionally etc. from you. I would highly recommend being very careful and secretive, and planning the whole thing as thoroughly as you can before setting things in motion or revealing anything. I know that seems OTT and dishonest, but I really believe that's the best way to get out of an abusive relationship. Know what he's capable of and keep a respectful distance, and he will respect you for taking your power back. He won't like you for it, but he'll never feel emboldened to hurt you again