Quote:
Originally Posted by Iwilldiealone
I have come to realize that my ex-wife is right, I am unlovable, and I will be alone for the rest of my life. I am trying to find information (ideally a book or video) on how to accept this and still have some measure of happiness that will allow me to live for at least another 10 to 20 years without feeling like I failed in life and that I am less than human.
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I have looked and there isn't a lot out there. Well there is but most of it is junk.
I know I am going to die alone. I am not very upset about it. I never had a chance. I have a few physical things that are wrong with me and I am just not knock down pretty. I have accepted it. Obviously I am not going to push people away who want to be with me, but no one ever wants to be. That isn't a pity party way... just fact.
I am able to accept this because personally I see so many married / coupled people that are miserable and then, they do die alone! But usually after 50 years of caregiving for the other person. Being with someone is no guarantee that you will not die alone.
My advice.
Pets: Get a pet of some type. Their love is often more pure and no one with a pet thinks they don't have a soul or a mind.
Find a few online boards that you can chat on.
Get a streaming service and audio book service. Keep your mind focused on other peoples stories.
Focus on work.
Focus on yourself. Take that dating energy and put it into being healthy. Put it in to being mentally healthy. Learning about the world / exploring.
Do something every weekend that gives you joy. Crafting, hiking, driving, travel.
Look at being single as an opportunity.