Hello,

It's been a while since I posted here.

I wouldn't say I've hit "rock bottom" per se. But the past couple weeks have been rough.

I attribute it to a couple factors:
1. SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder. The days are getting shorter, and the temps are decreasing. I'm getting a lot less Vitamin D because of reduced exposure to the sun. Although I've gone 4 years without a manic episode (yay!), I can still feel the hit to my psyche as the months drag on by. Winter will be tough, I guarantee.

2. Election. Whichever side of the political aisle you find yourself, I think we'd all agree that this has been one of the ugliest campaign seasons of all time. I know this is dangerous to say in this politically charged climate, but I'm thoroughly disgusted by the president and his minions.

Yet, like a 12 car pileup, I can't look away. When he was in the hospital, I was secretly happy that God had, perhaps, taken it into his own hands to rid us of this subhuman vermin. However, I found myself going through withdrawal: no tweets, no news stories, just the left media squacking, "I told you so," and those on the right praising the president for his "bravery," and bemoaning the shabby treatment from their rivals on the other side.

Of course, now we're back to shaking our heads in disbelief by the daily lowering of the ceiling. I never would have thought our culture would have so thoroughly debased itself, but in the words of another (more likeable, but also more disastrous) president, "Mission Accomplished."

3. Financial uncertainty. My wife launched a business about 2 yrs ago. I applaud her for the conviction and fortitude to push ahead, ignore the nay-sayers, and dismiss the setbacks as temporary bumps in the road. That said, it's been financially ruinous. It almost feels like, as the climate worsens, she wants to spend more money. I keep voicing my concerns, which she waves off with a "you gotta spend money to make money." At this rate, I don't know if we'll even be able to afford our water and heating bills, our mortgage, or our kids' college education.

4. Vicious cycle. Every day at 5pm, like clockwork, I plunk myself and gorge on alcohol, sugar, YouTube / Facebook Watch, or some combination thereof. The alcohol is a bit more infrequent, but the sugar and binge-watching are extremely destructive. Because of that, I usually don't get to bed till 1am.

I recalled a great quote this morning from the incomparable Led Zeppelin:
"Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on. So as of today, here are my "pivots:"
1. Refrain from checking phone until after breakfast.
2. Start each day with a daily devotional - Our Daily Bread is a great one.
3. Read for about a half hour
4. Journal

These are habits that I'd engaged in religiously for about 2 months, and they really helped me. I felt grounded, and the routine was immensely beneficial.

Let's hope I can pick myself up, dust my self off, and get back in the saddle.

Make it a great day everyone!